We’re getting back to the basics this month, which many of you might like considering the last two months’ crazy routines. All you need this time around is a single dumbbell – just remember that we’re using the same dumbbell for all exercises, so choose wisely.

If you haven’t read the How-To page, you should. It explains how this whole process works (it’s super easy, believe me; if it wasn’t easy I wouldn’t do it!).

March 2010 Workout

• Ace: Sit Ups
• Two: Crunches
• Three: Leg Raises
• Four: Supermans
• Five: Deadlifts
• Six: Push Ups
• Seven: Overhead Press – Right Arm
• Eight: Overhead Press – Left Arm
• Nine: Arm Curls – Right Arm
• Ten: Arm Curls – Left Arm
• Jack: Squats
• Queen: One Arm Rows – Right Arm
• King: One Arm Rows – Left Arm
• Joker: Rest!

Important Stuff

Jokers. You probably noticed that we’re using the Jokers this month. Consider them a rest. If you draw one, you don’t have to do anything! But it still counts towards your 20 cards per workout – so think of it as a “get out of exercising free” card.

As usual, we are shooting for 20 cards per workout, and one workout per day.

Goal. 300 reps. Once you’ve met or exceeded 300 reps for any particular exercise, you’re done with it for the month!

See, last month (January 2010 Workout Routine) was different in that every exercise was fair game. But this month, the entire bankroll of exercises is completely different than anything we’ve done before. Why? Why not? It doesn’t hurt to change things up every once in a while. Besides, some of these exercises are pretty darned cool, and I might use them in upcoming monthly workouts.

But the real truth of the matter is that my particular fitness goals are a little different this month. As many of you know, I make a (very, very, very) small living as an entertainer – mostly acting these days. And I’m working on a theater show that’s going to require plenty of core strength, so I’m stepping up the Lazy Bum Fitness routine to reflect it.

I can already hear some of you grumbling a little (seriously I can… oh wait, that’s my stomach, guess I shouldn’t have skipped breakfast and lunch – dang my acting salary). But the fact is that YOU actually benefit from this little change up in THREE ways:

1. You’ll learn some cool new exercises.
2. A complete change is good every once in a while for meeting fitness goals.
3. You’re actually working out the exact same way an actor does to get ready for a role.

Woohoo! See, once you look at it like that, it’s a pretty cool deal, huh?

Exercises

I’m throwing an entire new batch of exercises at you this month, and truth be told, I don’t know the names of any of  them – actually, I’m not even sure if any of them ARE real gym exercises or not. The moral of the story is that I’m making up the names.

The commonality this month is that you’ll need two dumbbells, not just one. And most of the time you’ll be holding them together (you don’t need super crazy pressure, just enough to keep tension on them), so when you do this, “Press” your palms together. You want the tops and bottoms of each dumbbell to touch each other, not side-to-side.

Front Dumbbell Side Twists: Stand with your feet about shoulder width apart and your legs slightly bent, then raise both dumbbells directly in front of you and slightly squeeze them together. Keep your arms mostly straight and your hips as stationary as possible, lead with your arms and slowly turn your upper torso either left or right until you feel the stretch, then slowly return to the starting position.

Two-Handed Dumbbell Arm Circles: Slight press the two dumbbells together as you make a giant two-handed circle around the front of your upper body. It’s okay to rotate the hips a little bit. One whole circle is one rotation.

Squeezing Dumbbell Bench Press: Lay on a bench or the floor, and slightly squeeze the two dumbbells together slightly above your chest. Keep pressure on them as you slowly push them up and away from your body. Pause briefly at the top, then return to the starting position slowly.

Step Ups: Stand in front of a bench or sturdy chair, and press the dumbbells together an inch or two in front of your chest. Step on to the bench or chair with the designated leg and climb up as if it were a single stair step. Lower yourself back down to the  ground leading with the same leg.

Full Body Axe Chopper: Stand in an athletic stance and bend forward slightly, keeping your back and abs tight. Let your arms (with dumbbells in them) hand straight down between your legs. Slightly press the dumbbells together, then, keeping your arms straight, raise up with your legs and arms as if you were getting ready to bash the floor with the dumbbells, do this until the weights are above your head. (If you were to watch from the side, this would make an arching motion). Then slowly return to the starting position.

Modified Arm Curls: Try to use your chest as a backstop for your elbows as you do this exercise. Start by holding the weights away from you, and then pressing them together. Try to make your elbows touch (only go as far as you can – don’t hurt yourself). Bring your elbows to your chest. Keeping your arms and hands in this position, do arm curls using both hands together. This is kind of like a preacher curl, if you’re familiar with them.

Squeezing Dumbbell Half Row: Stand in an athletic stance and bend forward (keep your torso tight!) until your upper body is as close as possible to parallel with the floor. With a dumbbell in each hand, let your arms hang straight down. Slightly press the dumbbells together and keep tension on them throughout this exercise. Keeping your elbows straight, pull your shoulders back as far as they will go, and envision squeezing your shoulder blades together. Slowly return to the starting position.

Instructions

We’re following the standard Lazy Bum Fitness instructions as outlined in the How-To page, so be sure to check it out if you’re new – or if you’ve got a short attention span like me and need constant reminders.

And my monthly “Don’t Sue Me” clause: Check with your doctor before starting this or any exercise routine. And stop immediately if you feel uncomfortable.

No Jokers this month, so you can take them out of the deck if you’d like.

Cards: Draw 20 cards per workout

Goals: 300 total reps per exercise.

The Workout

• Ace: Front Dumbbell Side Twists – twist to the right
• Two: Front Dumbbell Side Twists – twist to the left
• Three: Two Handed Arm Circles – clockwise
• Four: Two Handed Arm Circles – counter clockwise
• Five: Squeezing Dumbbell Bench Press
• Six: Step Ups: lead with right leg
• Seven: Step Ups: lead with left leg
• Eight: Full Body Axe Choppers
• Nine: Modified Arm Curls
• Ten: Squeezing Dumbbell Half Rows
• Jack: Supermans (aka “reverse crunches” or “lower back extensions”)
• Queen: Bicycles
• King: Crunches

Oh, and this month’s routine is based entirely on body weight – no need for dumbbells or weight plates, but you will need a pull up bar.

Here’s the basics for this month: There are four total workouts, and they are each designated by a card suite. So you’ll begin your Lazy Bum Fitness session by drawing one card, and the suite of that card will determine the day’s workout. (NOTE: Do not perform the same workout two days in a row! Draw again if you get the same suite you drew the day before).

Here are the routines. I’ll explain a little bit more about each on further down.

Hearts Workout

• Hearts: Burpees
• Diamonds: Plyometric Push Ups
• Spades: Squat Jumps
• Clubs: Bicycles

Monthly Goal: 250 reps for each exercise.

Diamonds Workout

• Hearts: Push Ups
• Diamonds: Dips
• Spades: Plank Twists (from Push Up Position)
• Clubs: Crunches

Monthly Goal: 250 reps for each exercise.

Spades Workout

• Hearts: Pull Ups
• Diamonds: Chin Ups
• Spades: Supermans
• Clubs: Hanging Knee Twists

Monthly Goal: 250 reps for each exercise.

NOTE: If you struggle with pull ups and chin ups, just perform one rep per set regardless of the card value. In this case, the goal for these exercises is 35 total reps each.

Clubs Workout

• Hearts: Squats
• Diamonds: One-Leg Squats – Right Leg
• Spades: One-Leg Squats – Left Leg
• Clubs: Lying Leg Raises

Monthly Goal: 250 reps for each exercise.

NOTE: For information about one-leg squats, see the bottom of this post.

Instructions

You’ve probably noticed that each workout has a prescribed group of exercises, which is a deviation from the normal Lazy Bum Fitness routine (to learn more about the usual Lazy Bum Fitness routine, read the How-To page). This month you’ll know exactly what four exercises you’ll be performing based on the workout you draw, rather than drawing for the exercises individually.

Here’s How It Works:

1. Draw a random card from the deck. The suite of that card determines which workout you’ll perform (don’t worry about the face value at this stage). If you draw the same workout you performed last time, redraw – don’t repeat the same workout back-to-back.
2. Now that you’re ready to perform the workout, draw a card. The suite determines the exercise you’ll perform, and the face value indicates the amount of reps (Face Cards are worth 10, and Aces are worth 11).
3. Repeat Step 2 until you’ve gone through 20 cards.
4. Record your results.
5. If you meet or exceed the month’s goal for any given exercise, don’t perform the exercise for the rest of the month, even if you draw it again. Instead, draw again until you get a card that corresponds to an exercise that hasn’t met it’s goal.
6. If you meet or exceed the month’s goal for every exercise in an entire workout, take a break when you draw it again (in Step 1). That’s right – a DAY OFF!

There you have it, this month’s Lazy Bum Fitness routine. Don’t forget to check with you doctor before beginning any new fitness program, including Lazy Bum Fitness.

*Notes about One-Leg Squats:

There are two ways to perform these, the He-Man way, and the “everybody else” way. I’ll start with the He-Man way, but don’t get intimidated if it’s not for you…

The HARD way. Stand in a comfortable stance, then lift one of your legs straight ahead. Now that you’re balanced on just one leg, lower yourself so that your thigh is parallel to the ground and push yourself back up. This requires balance, flexibility and leg strength.

The EASIER way. Stand facing away from a chair or a bench, then put one of your feet on that bench (so that your elevated leg is behind you). Lower yourself until your non-elevated thigh is parallel to the ground, then push yourself back up. Generally speaking, the higher your foot is elevated, the more difficult the exercise.