So I went back to the drawing board on this one and put together something that offers the same randomization benefits of traditional Lazy Bum Fitness routines, but makes use of the kind of equipment most folks probably won’t have in their own homes.

The Workout

Every time you hit the gym, you’ll perform a total of five exercises (one core movement, three lifts and one cardio). These five exercises will come from five different groups of movements, and you’ll randomly draw one from each group each day. It’s probably going to be a little difficult to explain, so let me rattle off the groups of exercises, then I’ll hit you up with an example, which (hopefully) will make sense.

As you read through these, keep in mind that you’ll only be using one weight amount per exercise, so choose something challenging, but not something that will make you puke if you end up performing four sets of 11. For example, let’s say you choose 150 pounds for the bench press; every set of bench presses you perform this month will use this weight, regardless of the amount of reps.

Group 1:

• Hearts: Sit Ups
• Diamonds: Leg Raises
• Spades: Bicycles
• Clubs: Back Hyper Extensions (use the non-weighted apparatus at the gym)

Group 2:

• Hearts: Bench Press
• Diamonds: Leg Press
• Spades: Cable Rows
• Clubs: Dips

Group 3:

• Hearts: Overhead Press
• Diamonds: Leg Curls (machine)
• Spades: Lat Pull Downs (cable)
• Clubs: Chin Ups

Group 4:

• Hearts: Triceps Push Downs (cable)
• Diamonds: Calf Raises
• Spades: Arm Curls
• Clubs: Push Ups

Group 5 (Cardio):

• Hearts: Stationary Bike
• Diamonds: Stair Master
• Spades: Elliptical Trainer (with moving hand grips)
• Clubs: Elliptical Trainer (without moving hand grips)

Here’s How It Works

Start with a regular deck of playing cards (take the jokers), and give it a good shuffle. Now draw one card. Note the suite of that card (don’t worry about the value). The suite determines what exercise from Group One you’ll perform. Now set that card aside and draw four more. This time don’t worry about the suite, and focus entirely on the face values, as these dictate how many reps you’ll perform.

One card = one set. The face value determines how many reps you’ll perform of that set.

The same principle applies to groups 1 through 4.

Group 5 – the Cardio session – is a bit different. You’ll still determine what type of cardio machine you’ll use by drawing for the suite, but instead of performing four short sets, you’re going for one long one that combines the total value of all four cards divided by two. So if the four cards add up to 36, divide that by two and you’ll rock it out for a solid 18 minutes. Make sense?

A Random Example:

First card drawn: Eight of Hearts. Disregard the eight and note that hearts represents sit up for group one. So you’re doing sit ups, lucky you. Then you draw the eight of diamonds. Disregard the diamond portion; then perform eight sit ups. Next card: Three of Clubs = three sit ups. Next card: Five of Spades = five sit ups.

Sixth card drawn: King of Clubs. Clubs represents dips for group number two…

See how that works?

Follow Along With Me This Month

Instead of just posting my workouts each month, I’m actually going to post updates on how I’m coming along. I’d love to hear how you’re doing as well, so drop me a line in the comment section and tell me how you’re doing.

See, last month (January 2010 Workout Routine) was different in that every exercise was fair game. But this month, the entire bankroll of exercises is completely different than anything we’ve done before. Why? Why not? It doesn’t hurt to change things up every once in a while. Besides, some of these exercises are pretty darned cool, and I might use them in upcoming monthly workouts.

But the real truth of the matter is that my particular fitness goals are a little different this month. As many of you know, I make a (very, very, very) small living as an entertainer – mostly acting these days. And I’m working on a theater show that’s going to require plenty of core strength, so I’m stepping up the Lazy Bum Fitness routine to reflect it.

I can already hear some of you grumbling a little (seriously I can… oh wait, that’s my stomach, guess I shouldn’t have skipped breakfast and lunch – dang my acting salary). But the fact is that YOU actually benefit from this little change up in THREE ways:

1. You’ll learn some cool new exercises.
2. A complete change is good every once in a while for meeting fitness goals.
3. You’re actually working out the exact same way an actor does to get ready for a role.

Woohoo! See, once you look at it like that, it’s a pretty cool deal, huh?

Exercises

I’m throwing an entire new batch of exercises at you this month, and truth be told, I don’t know the names of any of  them – actually, I’m not even sure if any of them ARE real gym exercises or not. The moral of the story is that I’m making up the names.

The commonality this month is that you’ll need two dumbbells, not just one. And most of the time you’ll be holding them together (you don’t need super crazy pressure, just enough to keep tension on them), so when you do this, “Press” your palms together. You want the tops and bottoms of each dumbbell to touch each other, not side-to-side.

Front Dumbbell Side Twists: Stand with your feet about shoulder width apart and your legs slightly bent, then raise both dumbbells directly in front of you and slightly squeeze them together. Keep your arms mostly straight and your hips as stationary as possible, lead with your arms and slowly turn your upper torso either left or right until you feel the stretch, then slowly return to the starting position.

Two-Handed Dumbbell Arm Circles: Slight press the two dumbbells together as you make a giant two-handed circle around the front of your upper body. It’s okay to rotate the hips a little bit. One whole circle is one rotation.

Squeezing Dumbbell Bench Press: Lay on a bench or the floor, and slightly squeeze the two dumbbells together slightly above your chest. Keep pressure on them as you slowly push them up and away from your body. Pause briefly at the top, then return to the starting position slowly.

Step Ups: Stand in front of a bench or sturdy chair, and press the dumbbells together an inch or two in front of your chest. Step on to the bench or chair with the designated leg and climb up as if it were a single stair step. Lower yourself back down to the  ground leading with the same leg.

Full Body Axe Chopper: Stand in an athletic stance and bend forward slightly, keeping your back and abs tight. Let your arms (with dumbbells in them) hand straight down between your legs. Slightly press the dumbbells together, then, keeping your arms straight, raise up with your legs and arms as if you were getting ready to bash the floor with the dumbbells, do this until the weights are above your head. (If you were to watch from the side, this would make an arching motion). Then slowly return to the starting position.

Modified Arm Curls: Try to use your chest as a backstop for your elbows as you do this exercise. Start by holding the weights away from you, and then pressing them together. Try to make your elbows touch (only go as far as you can – don’t hurt yourself). Bring your elbows to your chest. Keeping your arms and hands in this position, do arm curls using both hands together. This is kind of like a preacher curl, if you’re familiar with them.

Squeezing Dumbbell Half Row: Stand in an athletic stance and bend forward (keep your torso tight!) until your upper body is as close as possible to parallel with the floor. With a dumbbell in each hand, let your arms hang straight down. Slightly press the dumbbells together and keep tension on them throughout this exercise. Keeping your elbows straight, pull your shoulders back as far as they will go, and envision squeezing your shoulder blades together. Slowly return to the starting position.

Instructions

We’re following the standard Lazy Bum Fitness instructions as outlined in the How-To page, so be sure to check it out if you’re new – or if you’ve got a short attention span like me and need constant reminders.

And my monthly “Don’t Sue Me” clause: Check with your doctor before starting this or any exercise routine. And stop immediately if you feel uncomfortable.

No Jokers this month, so you can take them out of the deck if you’d like.

Cards: Draw 20 cards per workout

Goals: 300 total reps per exercise.

The Workout

• Ace: Front Dumbbell Side Twists – twist to the right
• Two: Front Dumbbell Side Twists – twist to the left
• Three: Two Handed Arm Circles – clockwise
• Four: Two Handed Arm Circles – counter clockwise
• Five: Squeezing Dumbbell Bench Press
• Six: Step Ups: lead with right leg
• Seven: Step Ups: lead with left leg
• Eight: Full Body Axe Choppers
• Nine: Modified Arm Curls
• Ten: Squeezing Dumbbell Half Rows
• Jack: Supermans (aka “reverse crunches” or “lower back extensions”)
• Queen: Bicycles
• King: Crunches

Instructions

Each card face value represents one exercise, and the suite represents the amount of reps. What that means is when you draw a card, you’ll perform the exercise associated with the face value, and will perform the amount of reps associated with the suite. (The reps and exercises are listed further down).

For instance, drawing the Five of Diamonds card would mean you’d perform five arm curls with your right arm.

As usual, keep track of your results so when you hit the monthly goal for a particular exercise, you’re done with it! And because of the nature of this month’s program, you can take the “completed” cards out of the deck until next month. For instance, if you achieve the total goal for Arm Curls with your Right Arm, you can take all the five cards out of the deck – you won’t need them anymore.

Again, you’re only going to use one dumbbell for all exercises spanning the entire month, so choose your weight carefully. This month uses a combination of body weight exercises and dumbbell exercises.

(For more information, visit the How To page – though this month is such an deviation from the norm that it probably won’t help you much, other than to give first-timers a general idea about the Lazy Bum Fitness program).

Repetitions

The amount of reps per card is determined by the suite.

• Hearts: 3 reps
• Diamonds: 5 reps
• Spades: 8 reps
• Clubs: 10 reps

Exercises

The exercise you perform is based on the card value (i.e. number or face value) of the card you draw. We aren’t using Jokers this month, so you can remove them from the deck if you’d like.

• Ace: Push Ups
• Two: Overhead Press – Right Arm
• Three: Overhead Press – Left Arm
• Four: Abdominal Crunches
• Five: Arm Curls – Right Arm
• Six: Arm Curls – Left Arm
• Seven: Lunges – Right Leg Forward
• Eight: Lunges – Left Leg Forward
• Nine: Pull Ups*
• Ten: Bicycles
• Jack: Dumbbell Rows – Right Arm
• Queen: Dumbbell Rows – Left Arm
• King: Chin Ups*

*Note: Just perform one rep of Pull Ups or Chin Ups per card, depending on your skill level.

Goal

350 total repetitions per exercise.

If you perform just one Pull Up and Chin Up per card, the goal for those is 50 each.

Total Sets / Cards Per Workout

Draw 20 cards for each workout.

If you meet or exceed the monthly goal for any particular exercise, remove those cards from the deck.

Oh, and this month’s routine is based entirely on body weight – no need for dumbbells or weight plates, but you will need a pull up bar.

Here’s the basics for this month: There are four total workouts, and they are each designated by a card suite. So you’ll begin your Lazy Bum Fitness session by drawing one card, and the suite of that card will determine the day’s workout. (NOTE: Do not perform the same workout two days in a row! Draw again if you get the same suite you drew the day before).

Here are the routines. I’ll explain a little bit more about each on further down.

Hearts Workout

• Hearts: Burpees
• Diamonds: Plyometric Push Ups
• Spades: Squat Jumps
• Clubs: Bicycles

Monthly Goal: 250 reps for each exercise.

Diamonds Workout

• Hearts: Push Ups
• Diamonds: Dips
• Spades: Plank Twists (from Push Up Position)
• Clubs: Crunches

Monthly Goal: 250 reps for each exercise.

Spades Workout

• Hearts: Pull Ups
• Diamonds: Chin Ups
• Spades: Supermans
• Clubs: Hanging Knee Twists

Monthly Goal: 250 reps for each exercise.

NOTE: If you struggle with pull ups and chin ups, just perform one rep per set regardless of the card value. In this case, the goal for these exercises is 35 total reps each.

Clubs Workout

• Hearts: Squats
• Diamonds: One-Leg Squats – Right Leg
• Spades: One-Leg Squats – Left Leg
• Clubs: Lying Leg Raises

Monthly Goal: 250 reps for each exercise.

NOTE: For information about one-leg squats, see the bottom of this post.

Instructions

You’ve probably noticed that each workout has a prescribed group of exercises, which is a deviation from the normal Lazy Bum Fitness routine (to learn more about the usual Lazy Bum Fitness routine, read the How-To page). This month you’ll know exactly what four exercises you’ll be performing based on the workout you draw, rather than drawing for the exercises individually.

Here’s How It Works:

1. Draw a random card from the deck. The suite of that card determines which workout you’ll perform (don’t worry about the face value at this stage). If you draw the same workout you performed last time, redraw – don’t repeat the same workout back-to-back.
2. Now that you’re ready to perform the workout, draw a card. The suite determines the exercise you’ll perform, and the face value indicates the amount of reps (Face Cards are worth 10, and Aces are worth 11).
3. Repeat Step 2 until you’ve gone through 20 cards.
4. Record your results.
5. If you meet or exceed the month’s goal for any given exercise, don’t perform the exercise for the rest of the month, even if you draw it again. Instead, draw again until you get a card that corresponds to an exercise that hasn’t met it’s goal.
6. If you meet or exceed the month’s goal for every exercise in an entire workout, take a break when you draw it again (in Step 1). That’s right – a DAY OFF!

There you have it, this month’s Lazy Bum Fitness routine. Don’t forget to check with you doctor before beginning any new fitness program, including Lazy Bum Fitness.

*Notes about One-Leg Squats:

There are two ways to perform these, the He-Man way, and the “everybody else” way. I’ll start with the He-Man way, but don’t get intimidated if it’s not for you…

The HARD way. Stand in a comfortable stance, then lift one of your legs straight ahead. Now that you’re balanced on just one leg, lower yourself so that your thigh is parallel to the ground and push yourself back up. This requires balance, flexibility and leg strength.

The EASIER way. Stand facing away from a chair or a bench, then put one of your feet on that bench (so that your elevated leg is behind you). Lower yourself until your non-elevated thigh is parallel to the ground, then push yourself back up. Generally speaking, the higher your foot is elevated, the more difficult the exercise.

Again, no jokers this month. Go ahead and take them out of the deck if you’d like.

Scroll down for more information about this month’s workout routine. And if you’re new to Lazy Bum Fitness, check out the How-To page here.

Workout

• Ace: Crunches
• Two: Bicycles
• Three: Leg Raises
• Four: Push Ups
• Five: Incline Push Ups (feet elevated)
• Six: Lunges with Dumbbell – Right Leg Forward
• Seven: Lunges with Dumbbell – Left Leg Forward
• Eight: Dumbbell Swings with Right Hand
• Nine: Dumbbell Swings with Left Hand
• Ten: Arm Curls with Dumbbell – Right Arm
• Jack: Arm Curls with Dumbbell – Left Arm
• Queen: Pull Ups*
• King: Chin Ups*

Cards Per Day: 20

Goal: 300 total reps per exercise (except Pull Ups and Chin Ups – for those see the note below)

*Note: For Pull Ups and Chin Ups, just perform one rep per card regardless of the card’s value. The total monthly goal for these exercises is 42 each.

Instructions

This month’s routine includes a good mix of compound movements and isolation exercises, so you’ll burn plenty of calories and build lots of muscle while giving a little extra boost to the biceps and abs (aka the “swim suit muscles”).

If you meet or exceed the goal for any particular exercise: Go ahead and cross that exercise off of your list – you’re done with it for the month! If you draw the corresponding card again later, just draw again until you’ve got four exercises that haven’t met their goals.

If there aren’t enough exercises four a four-exercise routine (i.e. you’ve met the goal for at least 10 of the movements), just use the exercises you have left and incorporate “rest cards” for the others. Enjoy the break!

And if you accomplish the goal for ALL the exercises – Congratulations! You’re done for the month. Take a nice rest – you deserved it.